so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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