I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
