i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
