Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
