i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
