You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
