How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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