he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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