my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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