So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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