I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
