i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
