I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
