I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
