yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Pooping to opera.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
