i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
