Your tits are I can't wait for
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
