We're facebook friends in real life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
