I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
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He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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