This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
