girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
