"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize