there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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