The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When did angry sex become our thing?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
