I skipped work to stalk him.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
