What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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