So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
