I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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