She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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