Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
