You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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