But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
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I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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