Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
