"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
