the condom got lost in my hair
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize