I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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