I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
