She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
