I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
