i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
