you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
