In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
