We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
