dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
