I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize