Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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