He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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