dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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