That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
