idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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