One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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