You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
