Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
