Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
