Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
