just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
