Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
